Across much of the Western world, a growing cohort of young men has been described as “the lost boys,” a generation of forgotten men struggling to find their footing in a changing society. In education, employment, and social life, many boys and young men are falling behind their female peers (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian) (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian). This trend is evident in countries as varied as the United States, the United Kingdom, and emerging economies in Latin America (Can we achieve gender parity in education while leaving boys out of school?) (More Latin American women go to college than men | World Economic Forum). The phenomenon spans urban and rural communities, though its manifestations differ by context. This report investigates the socioeconomic and cultural issues contributing to this crisis of young men, with a focus on differences between North America and Central/South America. It also examines why these challenges disproportionately, and often more severely, affect men compared to women, and proposes actionable steps to support and include these “lost boys” with compassion and practical help.

Understanding the "Lost Boys" Phenomenon

The term “lost boys” refers to young men who feel left behind by social and economic progress, struggling in school, stuck in joblessness or precarious work, suffering silent mental health battles, and often disconnected from community or family life. Over the past few decades, societies have witnessed remarkable gains for girls and women in education and rights (a positive development), but a concurrent decline in outcomes for many boys and men (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian) (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian). In many Western countries, girls now outperform boys in school and women outnumber men in higher education, while young men are more likely to be disengaged from school or work. Social scientists and policymakers are increasingly concerned about this gender reversal in disadvantage, noting that these young men face an identity crisis and lack the support structures to adapt to rapidly shifting gender roles (Our Lost Boys | The Heritage Foundation) (Why men and boys are falling behind, with Richard V. Reeves - Niskanen Center). The following sections explore key factors driving the “lost boys” phenomenon, from schooling to mental health, and how these play out in different settings.

Socioeconomic and Cultural Challenges Facing Young Men

Education Gaps: Boys Falling Behind in School

(Can we achieve gender parity in education while leaving boys out of school?) Figure: Lower secondary completion rates in select Latin American and Caribbean countries, by gender (blue = female, orange = male). In most countries, boys have lower school completion rates than girls, reflecting a reverse gender gap in education (Can we achieve gender parity in education while leaving boys out of school?).
One of the clearest signs of the lost boys trend is in education. Across economically advanced nations, girls are more likely to complete high school and attend college than boys (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian) (Boys left behind: Education gender gaps across the US). In the United States, for example, women now earn about 60% of university degrees, a dramatic flip from decades past (Boys left behind: Education gender gaps across the US). Every U.S. state sees young women outpacing young men in educational attainment (Boys left behind: Education gender gaps across the US). This pattern is not only in North America or Europe, Latin America shows a similar shift. In many Latin American and Caribbean countries, boys are at higher risk of dropping out of secondary school and have lower completion rates than girls (Can we achieve gender parity in education while leaving boys out of school?). At the university level, women students also far outnumber men; today more than 6 in 10 young women in Latin America go to college, compared to less than half of young men (More Latin American women go to college than men | World Economic Forum) (More Latin American women go to college than men | World Economic Forum).

Several factors contribute to boys’ educational underachievement. Economic pressures can pull boys out of school, for instance, poor families in both rural and urban areas often expect boys to work at a young age, cutting their schooling short (What you need to know about UNESCO’s global report on boys’ disengagement from education | UNESCO). Gender norms also play a role: in some contexts, academic effort is seen as “unmasculine,” making boys less motivated in school (What you need to know about UNESCO’s global report on boys’ disengagement from education | UNESCO). Schools themselves may be ill-equipped to engage boys, with fewer male teachers or mentors as role models, and with disciplinary policies that disproportionately punish boys. In the UK, for example, boys (especially from disadvantaged backgrounds) are over twice as likely as girls to be expelled or suspended from school (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian). Such exclusions feed a cycle of disengagement. By the end of adolescence, a subset of young men have left the education system with low qualifications, setting them up for limited job prospects and a higher likelihood of “NEET” status (Not in Education, Employment, or Training) (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian). Educational gaps, then, are a critical first crack through which many young men slip into “lost” status.

Employment and Economic Disadvantage

Closely tied to education outcomes are challenges in employment. Young men who struggle in school often carry that disadvantage into the job market, facing higher unemployment or low-wage work. In recent years, youth unemployment for young men has surpassed that of young women in several Western countries (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian). For example, in Britain during the 2000s, young women were more likely to be unemployed or out of training, but today that trend has reversed, now young men are more likely to be unemployed or idle (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian). In the United States, the labor force participation of men without college degrees has plummeted, as manufacturing and other traditionally male-dominated jobs decline (Why boys and men? - by Richard V Reeves). Millions of American men in their prime working years have simply dropped out of the workforce entirely (Disturbing rise of the NILFS: Men 'not in the labor force') (Millions Giving Up On Work | Nicholas Eberstadt). Economist Nicholas Eberstadt documents that nearly one in eight prime-age men in the U.S. is neither working nor looking for work, often “sleeping in, playing video games, and living off of benefits or family,” a bleak portrait of disconnection.

In Central and South America, the employment landscape has its own twists. On one hand, overall youth unemployment is extremely high, in 2023 it was about three times the adult unemployment rate in Latin America (En Latinoamérica, los jóvenes enfrentan tasas de desocupación tres veces más altas que los adultos). Many young people (male and female alike) are stuck in informal, unstable jobs: around 60% of Latin American youth work informally without job security (En Latinoamérica, los jóvenes enfrentan tasas de desocupación tres veces más altas que los adultos). Young men often take up whatever precarious work they can (construction, street vending, gig labor), but those with low education may also drift toward illicit economies (gangs, drug trafficking) in absence of better options. Meanwhile, women’s participation in formal employment, while still lower than men’s in many Latin countries, has been rising – creating new competition in the job market that some men struggle to overcome (More Latin American women go to college than men | World Economic Forum) (More Latin American women go to college than men | World Economic Forum). In urban Latin America, it’s now common to see educated young women in office jobs while less-educated young men remain underemployed or jobless. In rural areas, young men face a decline in traditional agricultural livelihoods and may lack the skills or resources to relocate for work, leading to frustration or migration out of the country.

The inability to secure stable employment strikes at the heart of male identity for those raised to see themselves as providers. A working-class man who cannot find a decent job may feel a deep sense of failure. As one study noted, if society only values men as breadwinners and “we haven’t updated their role, then there’s a sense of, ‘Well, then I’m benched.’” (Why men and boys are falling behind, with Richard V. Reeves - Niskanen Center). This economic marginalization not only breeds personal despair but can also fuel social problems – some “lost” young men turn to underground economies or embrace extremist ideologies to vent their anger. Thus, the jobs crisis for disconnected men is both an economic and a social challenge.

Mental Health and Isolation

Mental health struggles plague many of these forgotten young men, often more severely than their female counterparts. By numerous measures, suicide rates, substance abuse, reported loneliness, men are in a quiet crisis. Male suicide rates are dramatically higher than female suicide rates in virtually every Western country. In the United States, men die by suicide nearly four times more often than women (Suicide statistics | AFSP), and young men (late teens and twenties) have some of the highest suicide completion rates. In the UK, the suicide rate for 15–19-year-old boys is 3.5 times that of girls the same age (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian). Similar grim statistics appear across the Americas: in Mexico City, for example, the homicide rate for men is about 7.8 times higher than for women, and the male suicide rate is 4.2 times higher (Gender Differences in Suicide and Homicide Rates in Mexico City during 2019). Men are also far more likely to die from drug overdoses and alcohol-related causes, forms of “deaths of despair” linked to mental health and hopelessness. These data paint a stark picture: the lost boys phenomenon is not just about economics, but about emotional pain and social disconnection.

Yet, paradoxically, men are much less likely to seek help for mental health issues. Studies show that while a significant share of men experience depression or anxiety, fewer than half of those men will receive treatment (Why men are less likely to seek mental health care - Harvard Gazette). Cultural conditioning teaches men to “tough it out” and discourages vulnerability. Lacking healthy outlets, many young men bottle up their stress and loneliness – sometimes exploding in anger or collapsing into depression. Social isolation among men has worsened in recent decades as well. Surveys in the U.S. reveal that men’s friendship networks have shrunk dramatically: over 15% of men report having no close friends at all, a fivefold increase since 1990 (Men’s Social Circles are Shrinking - The Survey Center on American Life). (Women have also lost friends in modern life, but men’s loss has been steeper (Men’s Social Circles are Shrinking - The Survey Center on American Life).) Many men say they have no one to confide in; they are less likely to have supportive peer circles or to join community groups. In rural areas, this isolation can be acute – a young man with no job and no college experience might spend long hours alone at home or driving around deserted backroads, with nobody to notice his struggles. Urban environments, despite population density, can also be profoundly isolating: it’s easy to feel like an anonymous “nobody” in a city if one lacks money or status to participate in social life. Altogether, scarce emotional support and increasing loneliness put these men at severe risk of mental breakdowns, self-harm, or even violence (whether self-directed or toward others).

Erosion of Community and Support Networks

Another contributor to the lost boys crisis is the decline of traditional community structures that once provided men with a sense of belonging and purpose. In previous generations, many young men, even those who weren’t academic stars, could rely on community institutions like churches, labor unions, sports leagues, or military service to integrate them into society. These offered camaraderie, mentorship from older men, and a clear role to play. Today, however, community bonds have frayed in much of the Western world. Participation in civic or religious groups is down, and informal support networks are weaker. This erosion affects both men and women, but men appear to be hit harder by social disconnectedness. As noted, men on average have fewer close friends and social ties than women, which means that when other structures (like stable jobs or families) fall away, they have little to catch them. Women are more likely to maintain family connections or friendships that can act as a safety net; men more often find themselves “drifting” alone.

Rural and urban settings present different challenges. In rural communities, population decline and economic stress have hollowed out many institutions. When factories or mines closed in small-town America, not only did jobs vanish, but so did the local union hall and even local businesses that sponsored youth activities. A young man in a rural town might see older community life gone and nothing replacing it. If he’s not on a school sports team, he may have nowhere to go for communal activity, no gathering place to feel useful or valued. Meanwhile, urban areas offer more formal resources (nonprofits, support programs), but lost young men can slip through the cracks amid the urban bustle. They might be present yet invisible, the guy lingering on a city block with nowhere to be, or isolated in a small apartment playing video games. Without strong community engagement, these men lack positive peer influence and mentorship that could redirect them. Instead, some find pseudo-community in online forums or gangs, which can lead them down dangerous paths (e.g. extremist groups or criminal cliques that prey on disaffected males).

Family structure is another crucial support: the absence of involved fathers in many boys’ lives has left a void. High rates of single-parent families (usually single mothers) in parts of North America, the UK, and Latin America mean many boys grow up with no male role model at home. Research by psychologist Warren Farrell finds that boys who grow up fatherless are more likely to struggle with addiction, violence, and schooling, in fact, “almost every school shooter is a dad-deprived boy”, Farrell notes, highlighting the extreme outcomes that can arise (Our Lost Boys | The Heritage Foundation). While most fatherless boys will not become violent, many do experience lower self-confidence and discipline. The community used to offset this, a coach, an uncle, a youth leader, but those figures are often missing now. In sum, the weakening of family and community bonds leaves many young men unmoored, without the guidance or sense of belonging that can steer them through tough transitions.

Shifting Gender Roles and Identity Crisis

Underpinning all these issues is a profound shift in gender roles that has upended traditional notions of masculinity. Over the last half-century, women’s roles have expanded dramatically: women now excel in education, pursue careers, and assert independence in ways that previous generations could only dream of. Society (rightly) encourages girls to be ambitious and self-sufficient. However, the script for men has not evolved as quickly. Many young men were raised with expectations of being the provider, the protector, the man of the house, yet in reality, they may find themselves with a partner who earns more, or no stable family role to fill. This can trigger an identity crisis: they ask, “If I’m not the breadwinner or the strong leader, what am I?” Lacking a new positive vision of masculinity to align with, some men either cling to outdated macho stereotypes or simply flounder with a sense of purposelessness. Scholar Richard Reeves observes that the cultural left often tells struggling men to reject masculinity (“be more like your sister”), while the cultural right tells them to “man up” with more masculinity (Why men and boys are falling behind, with Richard V. Reeves - Niskanen Center) (Why men and boys are falling behind, with Richard V. Reeves - Niskanen Center). Caught in between, many young men are confused about how to define themselves in a world where women are increasingly their equals (or superiors) in classrooms and workplaces.

This confusion can be especially acute in Central and South America, where traditional machismo has long been the norm. Machismo prescribes that a man should be virile, tough, and dominant. Now, as economic realities and women’s empowerment challenge those norms, some Latin American men struggle to adapt. In countries where men’s pride is tied to providing for a family, failing to do so is a huge blow to self-worth, for instance, a young man in Mexico who can’t earn enough to marry might feel he isn’t a “real man” by traditional standards. Similar dynamics play out in North America too, despite a more progressive gender culture. The result is a generation of men dealing with role strain: they are unsure what society expects of them. They hear that they should be sensitive and egalitarian partners, yet they also sense that men who don’t achieve wealth or status are derided as “losers.” Society tends to offer women various life scripts (career woman, super-mom, etc.), bolstered by networks of support and public celebration of women’s achievements. For men, however, the old script (breadwinner, stoic protector) is being rewritten on the fly, and supportive narratives for new forms of manhood are scarce. This vacuum of positive identity leaves many young men vulnerable to toxic influences, whether misogynistic online communities that blame women for their problems, or demagogic political voices that scapegoat others. In essence, a portion of young men are experiencing a crisis of identity and purpose, which intersects with all the practical challenges discussed above to intensify their sense of being “lost.”

Urban vs. Rural Perspectives on Male Disconnection

It’s important to recognize that the experience of these “forgotten” men can differ between urban and rural settings. Geography and community size shape male identity and inclusion in distinct ways:

• Urban settings: Cities typically offer more opportunities on paper, more jobs, schools, and social services, but they can also magnify isolation and competition. In big North American cities, for example, a young man without a college degree might be surrounded by visible wealth and success that feels out of reach. He may struggle to find decent-paying work amid an influx of highly educated workers. The cost of living and anonymity of city life can compound his alienation. However, urban environments do have resources that can help (community centers, mental health clinics, mentoring programs), if the individual accesses them. Some cities have burgeoning support groups for men, such as meet-up groups focused on men’s mental wellness or skills training programs in inner-city neighborhoods. The challenge is that a disaffected man in the city must navigate a complex environment to seek help, and many simply drift along the margins (e.g. couch-surfing, joining fringe subcultures, or in worst cases, living homeless on the streets). Urban cultural shifts also mean young men in cities are more directly confronted with new gender norms, for instance, urban women may be less tolerant of machismo, which can either encourage young men to adjust positively or leave them feeling “out of place” if they hold traditional views. In sum, urban lost boys often suffer from invisibility in plain sight: they are surrounded by bustling society yet feel they have no role in it.

• Rural settings: In small towns and rural communities, the plight of struggling young men looks a bit different. These areas often have tight-knit cultures where traditional gender roles persist strongly. A rural young man might gain a sense of identity from farming, ranching, or trades passed down in the community. But with economic changes, those opportunities may be dwindling. Rural regions in the U.S. Midwest or the Andes of South America, for instance, have seen young people leave for cities, leaving behind fewer peers and fraying community life. Those who remain may face both unemployment and boredom. Substance abuse issues can be pronounced, the U.S. opioid epidemic hit many rural male populations extremely hard, with idle young men turning to painkillers and drugs as an escape. Unlike in a city, a rural “lost” young man is highly visible (everyone in a small town might know he’s not doing much), which can either prompt community intervention or, unfortunately, stigma and gossip that further reduce his self-esteem. On the positive side, rural communities sometimes still rally around individuals, a local church or an uncle might pull a young man into farm work or church activities to keep him occupied. The strong family ties in many Latin American villages can also be a protective factor; a troubled young man might be kept in the fold by relatives even if he’s not succeeding elsewhere. However, if the prevailing rural culture is very stoic and macho, he may receive sympathy without therapy, i.e. people may care about him but still discourage showing weakness or seeking professional help. Therefore, rural lost boys often struggle with a lack of opportunity and privacy, feeling stuck under the weight of community expectations and economic stagnation.

Despite these differences, there are common threads: whether urban or rural, many young men lack viable pathways to a fulfilling adult life and feel excluded from the prosperity or progress around them. Both settings can breed a sense of “not belonging,” in the city, because of impersonality; in the countryside, because of insularity. Crafting solutions will require understanding these contextual nuances and tailoring support accordingly.

Regional Differences: North America vs. Central/South America

While the “forgotten men” trend spans the Western Hemisphere, its manifestations in North America versus Latin America have distinct characteristics shaped by cultural and socioeconomic contexts. Here we compare some key differences and similarities:

• Education and Skills: In both North America and Central/South America, girls have broadly overtaken boys in educational attainment in recent years (Can we achieve gender parity in education while leaving boys out of school?) (More Latin American women go to college than men | World Economic Forum). However, the scale and implications differ. In North America (the U.S. and Canada), high school graduation rates for boys have improved overall, but college gaps are wide – women are about 1.5 times more likely to earn a college degree now (Boys left behind: Education gender gaps across the US). Many American young men are opting out of higher education, which limits their access to white-collar and knowledge-economy jobs. In Latin America, primary education access improved for both genders, but secondary school completion among boys lags significantly behind girls in many countries (Can we achieve gender parity in education while leaving boys out of school?). Moreover, the push for women’s education has been a major development success in Latin America, producing a generation of educated women, while a significant fraction of young men did not equally advance their skills. The result in Latin America is a stark skill mismatch: employers find more qualified female graduates, while a pool of lower-educated young men remain stuck in informal labor or joblessness. This dynamic is visible in countries like Argentina, Chile, and Mexico, where universities are majority-female, yet many less-educated men struggle in the margins of the economy.

• Labor Market and Economy: North America’s advanced economy has shifted away from traditional male-dominated industries (manufacturing, mining) toward services and tech. This hollowing-out of blue-collar jobs hit working-class men hard in the U.S. and Canada, contributing to the decline of labor force participation among men without college degrees (Why boys and men? - by Richard V Reeves) (Disturbing rise of the NILFS: Men 'not in the labor force'). The gig economy and service jobs that grew in their place often don’t pay as well or appeal to those men. In contrast, Latin American economies still have a mix of informal jobs and resource-based work; there, young men’s unemployment often stems from lack of new job creation and unstable economic growth. Youth unemployment rates in Latin America are high for both sexes, but young women face an extra barrier of domestic responsibilities (many leave the workforce due to childcare or family care) (En Latinoamérica, los jóvenes enfrentan tasas de desocupación tres veces más altas que los adultos). Young men, on the other hand, are expected to work and thus feel the full brunt of unemployment when jobs aren’t available. Additionally, migration is a factor: in Central America, many young men see emigration (to the U.S. or elsewhere) as one of the few routes to a better life, and those who can’t leave often feel trapped. In North America, internal migration from depressed towns to booming cities is possible in theory, but many “lost” young men lack the resources or social capital to relocate, so they remain in place as local economies decline.

• Violence and Crime: The expressions of male social disconnection can turn violent, but the forms differ regionally. In the United States and Canada, disaffected young men are sometimes behind phenomena like mass shootings or joining extremist groups, sporadic but deeply troubling events often tied to feelings of alienation or grievance. Meanwhile, Central and South America have some of the highest rates of youth gang violence and homicide in the world. Countries like Honduras, El Salvador, Brazil, and Mexico have seen large numbers of idle young men drawn into gangs, organized crime, and drug-related violence, in part due to poverty and lack of alternatives. The overwhelming majority of homicide perpetrators and victims in Latin America are male, and these are frequently young men killing each other in gang conflicts (Gender Differences in Suicide and Homicide Rates in Mexico City during 2019). This is a tragic extreme of the lost boys phenomenon – social exclusion feeding a cycle of violence. One might say that in Latin America the crisis of young men is more “brutally” visible (in crime and death statistics), whereas in North America it can be more “quietly” corrosive (in suicide, overdose, and isolation behind closed doors). Both are urgent, but they require somewhat different policy responses (crime prevention and reintegration programs in Latin America; mental health and economic re-engagement in North America).

• Cultural Expectations: North American culture has seen strong feminist movements and at least two generations growing up with the idea of gender equality. Young men in the U.S. and Canada are aware (sometimes resentfully) that the old patriarchal privileges are being dismantled. Many have adapted and support egalitarian values, but others feel attacked or unsure of their place. In Central and South America, while feminist movements are also significant (e.g., movements against gender violence), traditional gender norms still hold more sway in everyday life. Machismo expectations persist, meaning men are often under pressure to be dominant, heterosexual, stoic earners. The shame of failing as a provider or showing emotional vulnerability might be even greater in a conservative Latin community than in a liberal North American city. Thus, Latin American “lost” men may be more reluctant to admit struggling, sometimes hiding their despair behind braggadocio or substance use. On the flip side, family kinship networks are often stronger in Latin cultures, a 25-year-old man in trouble might still be taken care of by his extended family, whereas an American counterpart might be more likely to be living independently (or homeless). In short, North America’s gender-role evolution is more advanced, which creates a different kind of identity whiplash for men, while Latin America’s evolution is uneven, creating pockets of very stark male crises where old expectations meet new realities.

Despite these differences, the core issues overlap. In both regions, a segment of young men lack education and jobs, suffer poor mental health, and feel estranged from a society that they perceive is not built for them. And in both, the problem is often under-acknowledged: public discourse tends to focus (rightly) on women’s rights and safety, but rarely addresses the fact that large numbers of young men are in pain. As we have seen, ignoring that pain can have dire consequences for the whole society (crime, instability, broken families, etc.). The next section delves deeper into why this crisis affects men more than women, before moving on to solutions.

Why the "Lost Boys" Crisis Hits Men Harder than Women

It might seem counterintuitive that men, who historically held societal advantages, are now experiencing these struggles more acutely than women in many domains. However, several interrelated factors explain why the “lost boys” phenomenon disproportionately, and often more brutally, affects men:

• Societal Expectations and Masculine Norms: Traditional gender expectations have conditioned men to be providers, achievers, and emotionally stoic. When men cannot meet the provider role due to economic changes or personal setbacks, they often experience profound shame and identity loss. A woman who is unemployed, for example, may still feel she has other socially accepted roles (caretaker, etc.), and society is more forgiving of women needing help. Men, by contrast, often feel that if they aren’t winning (earning, leading), they are nothing. This pressure is encapsulated in the “breadwinner or bust” mentality: if a man isn’t the breadwinner, he’s failed (Why men and boys are falling behind, with Richard V. Reeves - Niskanen Center). Young men today were often raised with remnants of that expectation, yet face a reality where being the sole breadwinner is neither guaranteed nor, in some cases, even necessary (in dual-earner households). The dissonance between expectation and reality can trigger a crisis of self. Furthermore, norms of toughness mean men are less prepared to cope with failure. Society has traditionally not taught men how to express vulnerability or ask for help – doing so is seen as weakness, “not manly.” Therefore, when men hit emotional rock bottom, they tend to suffer in silence rather than seek support, which can make their problems far more severe by the time anyone notices. This dynamic partly explains why men’s suicide rates are so much higher, men often don’t reach out until it’s too late, whereas women may seek help or be socially connected enough for someone to intervene. In summary, men are navigating narrower normative boundaries: succeed and conform to the ideal of masculinity, or be relegated to social oblivion. That burden makes their falls from grace especially hard.

• Lack of Emotional Support Structures: Women generally have more robust emotional support systems, both formal and informal. They are more likely to have close friends or family members with whom they can share feelings. They also are more open to seeking counseling or therapy when in distress (Why men are less likely to seek mental health care - Harvard Gazette). Men, on the other hand, often lack these outlets. As noted, a growing proportion of men report having no close confidants at all (Men’s Social Circles are Shrinking - The Survey Center on American Life). Many men rely heavily on female partners for emotional support; if a man is single (and many struggling young men are involuntarily single), he may have virtually no one who regularly checks on his well-being. Community support for men has also been weaker, there are countless NGOs and programs geared toward empowering girls and women (again, for good reasons), but relatively few that specifically reach out to men in emotional crisis. The result is that men’s problems tend to go unnoticed until they manifest in destructive ways (addiction, aggression, suicide). There is also evidence that when men do try to seek help, they sometimes face stigma or a lack of understanding. A young man admitting depression might be dismissed as “lazy” or told to “man up,” responses less commonly given to women who express sadness. This empathy gap leaves men feeling that no one cares about their inner struggles. Hence, the very structure of social support, from friendships to counseling, currently caters less to men, making their hard times more likely to spiral.

• Higher Propensity for Risky and Lethal Behaviors: When faced with hardship, men and women often cope in different ways, partly due to socialization. Men are more likely to externalize their distress through risk-taking or aggression, while women may internalize (leading to anxiety or self-harm). This means that when young men feel hopeless, they might engage in dangerous behaviors that have brutal outcomes. They disproportionately turn to alcohol and drugs to numb pain, for instance. In the U.S., male overdose death rates have surged to more than double those of females. Men also commit the majority of violent acts; a hurt, angry man is more likely to lash out and potentially get himself killed or imprisoned (where men dominate the prison population). Young men with nowhere to channel their energy sometimes drive recklessly, get into fights, or join violent peer groups, all of which carry greater immediate physical risk than the coping mechanisms more typical of women. In Latin America, as discussed, a boy who drops out of school might fall in with a gang, raising his risk of death or incarceration drastically. Meanwhile, a girl in the same situation might end up in early marriage or exploited in other ways, serious problems too, but less often fatal. Even in non-criminal settings, men’s tendency to avoid help and “go it alone” can turn deadly, for example, male farmers in rural communities have some of the highest suicide rates, often because they won’t seek help until despair is overwhelming. Therefore, the outcomes of male social disconnection tend to be more deadly, whether through violence, accidents, or suicide. It’s not that women don’t suffer in poverty or unemployment (they certainly do), but women are statistically less likely to respond in ways that literally kill them.

• Identity Crises Amid Changing Gender Dynamics: Young men today are experiencing a unique identity vacuum. As earlier sections noted, women have gained a clear narrative of empowerment (“girl power,” career opportunities, etc.), while men are often left with a sense of guilt or confusion about what their role should be in a world striving for gender equality. Many societal messages to men have been negative or subtractive: “Don’t be toxic,” “Stop male privilege,” etc. While it’s crucial to address harmful behaviors, the average struggling young man might only hear that his gender is something problematic, which does not motivate positive change. Women, by contrast, hear many positive messages about female strength and resilience, which can be uplifting in times of hardship. Lacking a positive script, some men simply disengage, why try, if society seems to suggest that men are either unnecessary or inherently bad? This bleak outlook can feed depression and apathy. It can also fuel a backlash: some men double down on old patriarchal attitudes or embrace misogyny as a twisted form of self-assertion (e.g. blaming feminism for their woes). Women generally don’t experience this kind of identity whiplash; their expanding opportunities usually reinforce their sense of self. Men are uniquely caught between eras, expected to shed old skins but not given new ones. This contributes to a feeling of being lost not just materially but existentially, which can be more devastating. A person who is materially poor but feels valued and clear in purpose can endure; a person with means but no sense of self can still crumble. Many lost young men unfortunately face both: economic marginalization and an identity vacuum.

In summary, men’s harsher socialization, weaker support networks, riskier coping strategies, and unresolved identity questions combine to make their falls harder and their recovery more difficult. That is why this crisis can seem “more brutal” for men, the statistics (from suicides to incarceration) bear that out. Importantly, highlighting men’s struggles does not deny the ongoing challenges women face. Rather, it recognizes that society must address both sides of gender disparities. As one commentator put it, acknowledging boys’ problems isn’t a zero-sum game, helping boys helps everyone, because young men who are healthy and engaged will be better coworkers, partners, and fathers, ultimately benefiting women and society too (What you need to know about UNESCO’s global report on boys’ disengagement from education | UNESCO) (What you need to know about UNESCO’s global report on boys’ disengagement from education | UNESCO). With that principle in mind, the next section proposes actionable steps to support and include these lost boys, showing compassion without losing sight of broader equality goals.

Supporting and Including "Lost Boys": Five Actionable Steps

Reversing the fortunes of the “forgotten” young men will require concerted efforts from individuals, communities, and institutions. Both men and women have roles to play in creating an environment where these young men feel valued, understood, and guided toward a positive path. Below, we outline five actionable steps to support and include these men, each accompanied by the rationale and the potential impact it can have. These steps emphasize empathy, community engagement, and practical assistance, approaches that can be implemented in everyday life as well as through organized programs.

Table: Five Key Actions to Support Disconnected Young Men (“Lost Boys”)

Actionable Step Rationale Potential Impact

1. Encourage Open Communication and Mental Health Support Normalize emotional expression and help-seeking among men. Men often hesitate to admit struggles due to stigma. Creating safe spaces (in families, friendships, or support groups) for men to talk about stress, depression, or identity issues is crucial (Why men are less likely to seek mental health care - Harvard Gazette). When men do seek help, they should be met with understanding, not judgment. Both men and women can actively check in on the young men in their lives and encourage them to reach out for professional help when needed. Reduces isolation and crisis escalation: By airing out problems early, men are less likely to suffer in silence until breaking point. This can lead to lower rates of severe mental health outcomes like suicide and substance abuse. Over time, a culture of openness can improve overall well-being – men learn that it’s okay to ask for help, and friends/family become more adept at recognizing when a man is in trouble. Improved communication also strengthens relationships, giving these men a stronger support network.

2. Provide Mentorship and Positive Male Role Models Connect boys and young men with mentors who offer guidance and support. Many lost boys lack father figures or constructive male influences ([Our Lost Boys The Heritage Foundation](https://www.heritage.org/marriage-and-family/commentary/our-lost-boys#:~:text=strong%20fathers%20and%20male%20role,more%20likely%20to%20be%20depressed)). Mentorship programs, whether through schools, community centers, churches, or informal “buddy” systems, can pair young men with older men (or women) who care about them. A mentor can demonstrate healthy masculinity, give advice on life skills or career paths, and simply be someone who listens. Women can support this by encouraging male relatives to mentor others or by mentoring in their own way (e.g. women teachers guiding at-risk boys).

3. Expand Education, Training, and Job Opportunities Re-engage young men through tailored learning and employment programs. Addressing the education/employment gap requires giving disconnected males new chances to succeed. This could mean alternative education pathways (GED programs, vocational training, apprenticeships in trades) that appeal to those who did not thrive in traditional school (Can we achieve gender parity in education while leaving boys out of school?) (Can we achieve gender parity in education while leaving boys out of school?). Hands-on training in skills (mechanics, coding bootcamps, construction, etc.) can channel men’s energy toward a marketable trade. Active labor policies, such as job placement services or entrepreneurship support for young men, are equally important (En Latinoamérica, los jóvenes enfrentan tasas de desocupación tres veces más altas que los adultos). Both public and private sectors (employers, unions) should be involved. Women can advocate for their sons, brothers, or partners to enroll in such programs and help reduce any shame in doing so. Improves employability and self-reliance: Education and job programs designed for disengaged young men can significantly raise their prospects. Completing a trade certificate or alternative diploma builds confidence and qualifies them for decent jobs, pulling them out of idleness. As more men gain stable employment, communities benefit from lower poverty and related social ills. Importantly, earning an income helps restore men’s sense of purpose and dignity – they feel they can contribute, aligning with their desire to be providers (even if not sole breadwinners). Over time, these efforts narrow the gender gaps in education and work, creating a more balanced and inclusive economy.

4. Foster Inclusive Community Networks and Activities Create or support group activities that welcome young men’s participation. Combatting social isolation requires active inclusion of these men in community life. This can take many forms: sports leagues, volunteer projects, faith-based groups, hobby clubs, or the “Men’s Shed” model (informal workshops where men gather to do projects and talk) (People are really concerned with the men's shed movement ... - Reddit). Such activities give men a place to form friendships and feel useful. Communities and local leaders (of any gender) can intentionally reach out to disengaged young men – for example, inviting them to help in a neighborhood clean-up, join a pickup soccer game, or attend a social meet-up. Women – as mothers, partners, or friends – can encourage men to step out of isolation by bringing them along to community events or supporting male-focused group initiatives. Builds belonging and supportive peer bonds: When young men join group activities, they gain comradeship and a sense of identity tied to positive pursuits rather than negative ones. Regular social interaction in a non-judgmental setting can reduce feelings of loneliness and depression. Over time, participants often develop trust with peers and may open up about their challenges, creating an informal peer-support system. Community programs like men’s groups have been linked to reductions in loneliness and even suicidal thoughts among participants (as seen with the Men’s Shed movement) (People are really concerned with the men's shed movement ... - Reddit). Additionally, involving idle young men in volunteer or civic projects benefits the community and also shows these men that they matter – their contributions are visible and valued. This fosters reintegration rather than alienation.

5. Challenge Stigmas and Evolve Gender Norms Promote a culture that accepts diverse male roles and supports equality without derision. A long-term solution is shifting how we as a society talk about masculinity and men’s issues. Both men and women can work to break the stigma that “real men” must be invulnerable achievers. This means calling out ridicule of men’s emotions (e.g. dismissing a crying man) and challenging phrases like “man up” when used to shame someone. It also involves highlighting and respecting the many forms a man’s life can take – whether he is a stay-at-home dad, a caregiver, an artist, a tradesman, or anything else. Media, schools, and community leaders should include positive narratives of men in non-traditional roles, just as they promote girls in STEM or women in leadership. Furthermore, incorporating men into the gender equality conversation as allies who also have gender-specific challenges will create empathy on both sides ([What you need to know about UNESCO’s global report on boys’ disengagement from education UNESCO](https://www.unesco.org/en/articles/what-you-need-know-about-unescos-global-report-boys-disengagement-education#:~:text=they%20perform%20better%20than%20their,male%20peers%20at%20school)) ([What you need to know about UNESCO’s global report on boys’ disengagement from education

Implementing these steps will require empathy, patience, and collaboration. Men who are struggling need to be seen not as failures or threats, but as individuals worthy of care and investment. At the same time, addressing their needs should not come at the expense of women’s progress – rather, it should complement it, moving toward a society where both young men and women can thrive. By opening up conversations, volunteering time as mentors or friends, designing educational and job initiatives, and reshaping cultural narratives, we can begin to reclaim this “lost” generation of boys and young men. The five steps above offer a roadmap for communities and individuals to start making a difference right now. Each of us, whether male or female, can likely think of a young man in our life who is adrift – a former classmate, a relative, a neighbor. Reaching out to that person, and supporting broader efforts like the ones described, can help turn these lost boys into found men, to the benefit of all.

Conclusion

The crisis of the lost boys is a complex challenge that has been decades in the making, intersecting with economic shifts, educational changes, and evolving social norms. It disproportionately impacts young men through harsher outcomes in school, work, and health, but it ultimately affects entire communities and generations. The struggles of these men do not negate the injustices women face; rather, they remind us that social progress must be inclusive and mindful of everyone. Forging a future where young men are engaged, confident, and healthy is not a nostalgic return to patriarchy, but a step forward to a more balanced society. As this report has shown, there are concrete ways to lift up our forgotten young men – through empathy, opportunity, and inclusion. By investing in them, we invest in safer, happier communities for women and men alike. The “lost boys” need not remain lost; with collective effort and compassion, we can help them find purpose and place in the modern world.

Sources: (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian) (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian) (Can we achieve gender parity in education while leaving boys out of school?) (More Latin American women go to college than men | World Economic Forum) (Our Lost Boys | The Heritage Foundation) (Why men and boys are falling behind, with Richard V. Reeves - Niskanen Center) (Boys left behind: Education gender gaps across the US) (Boys left behind: Education gender gaps across the US) (More Latin American women go to college than men | World Economic Forum) (What you need to know about UNESCO’s global report on boys’ disengagement from education | UNESCO) (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian) (Jobless, isolated, fed misogynistic porn… where is the love for Britain’s lost boys? | Sonia Sodha | The Guardian) (Why boys and men? - by Richard V Reeves) (Disturbing rise of the NILFS: Men 'not in the labor force') (Millions Giving Up On Work | Nicholas Eberstadt) () () (En Latinoamérica, los jóvenes enfrentan tasas de desocupación tres veces más altas que los adultos) (Suicide statistics | AFSP) (Gender Differences in Suicide and Homicide Rates in Mexico City during 2019) (Why men are less likely to seek mental health care - Harvard Gazette) (Men’s Social Circles are Shrinking - The Survey Center on American Life) (Our Lost Boys | The Heritage Foundation) (People are really concerned with the men's shed movement ... - Reddit) (What you need to know about UNESCO’s global report on boys’ disengagement from education | UNESCO)

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